Circular Paradox
by Hidden Treasures
Summary: "This song is ending, but the story never ends." His story with Rose will never end.
_C'mon, c'mon, where was she? He didn't have all bloody night_.

The Doctor grimaced; his skin felt like it was on fire, boiling him from the inside out, and he was worried he wouldn't make it back to the TARDIS in time, and terrified he wouldn't get the chance to see her one last time.

But finally, just as he resigned himself to leave lest he scare the daylights out of the residents on the Estate, he saw her. _Rose_. Oh, and she was more beautiful than he remembered, with bits of snow clinging to her hair, and that floppy knit cap, and that ridiculously long scarf that had made him chuckle fondly when he first saw her with it on their second trip to Cardiff.

She looked younger, too. Her long hair and bright eyes made her appear more youthful than he had ever seen her. But there was a restlessness beneath them, too, a heavy defeat of someone who knew that tomorrow would be the same as yesterday, and the day after would be the same as today. Day in and day out until one day they woke up and wondered where the last fifty years had gone.

He'd meant to watch quietly, making sure she made it home safely, but then again, when had any of his other plans gone accordingly.

A sharp stab of pain radiated outward from his chest and he felt his right heart stutter, trying desperately to keep up with the left. He bit his lip to muffle his groan, and maybe she wouldn't hear him, maybe she would pass him off as any old bloke on the Estate, maybe…

"You all right, mate?"

 _Bollocks_. But of course she wouldn't just ignore him, that's just who she was, wanting to help anyone and everyone, from a broken old Dalek to a broken old Time Lord. That's what he loved about her.

"Yeah," he managed to grit out, forcing himself upright even as his knees threatened to buckle.

"Too much to drink?" she asked sympathetically.

 _Alcohol poisoning, radiation poisoning…same difference, really._

"Something like that."

"Maybe it's time you went home."

 _Oh, if only_.

He instead pursed his lips into a smile that he hoped didn't look as pained as it felt.

"Anyway, Happy New Year," she said brightly.

"And you," he said genuinely.

She was just about to walk away, and he panicked, not wanting her to leave, not wanting to be left on his own. He wasn't ready to go yet.

"What year is this?"

She whipped around, and he could see her trying to stifle that teasing smile he loved so much as she asked, "Blimey, how much have you had?"

He shrugged helplessly as a witty retort got stuck in his throat.

"2005, January the first."

"2005?" he confirmed.

He hated the sudden sadness and grim smile that crossed her face as she nodded, clearly expecting this year to be just as mediocre as 2004. He needed to make that look go away; she needed to know how brilliant she already was, and how brilliant she would be.

"Tell you what," he said softly. _You're absolutely brilliant. Please don't leave. Come with me. I love you._ "I'll bet you're gonna have a really great year."

He watched with a sense of satisfaction as a hesitant smile lit up her face and he saw hope and wonder glitter behind her eyes.

"Yeah?"

He nodded in encouragement. She turned away, and he was going to let her go this time, he really was, but she turned back around and she smiled so brightly that for a moment, just a moment, he forgot the pain of impending regeneration and let his failing hearts do that funny flip they always did when she smiled at him.

"See ya!"

 _Oh, just you wait, Rose Tyler._

He felt his smile slipping as he watched her retreating form, all the way until she made it inside. She spared him one last glance, and then she was gone.

He winced as the pain Rose had helped him keep at bay flared to life with an agonizing purpose. He staggered to the TARDIS, cursing himself for parking so far away, when he stumbled and fell, the snow not nearly enough padding on the hard tarmac. But what did bruised kneecaps even matter now? He'd have new ones in just a few minutes.

"We will sing to you, Doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep."

And he could hear the Ood's song, calling him home, comforting him, as he forced himself to his feet.

"This song is ending, but the story never ends."

 _Quite right, too_. The Rose he just left would meet her Doctor in just a few short months, and both of their lives would be forever changed. Oh, they would have such a fantastic time together, and even when it wasn't fantastic, they'd make the best of it.

In time, eventually that Rose would lose her Doctor, and that Doctor would lose his Rose, and then they'd find each other only to be parted once more. And eventually that Doctor would be standing where he is now.

The Doctor smiled to himself. His story with Rose would never end, now; they were stuck in a never-ending loop of meeting again and losing again, but that was okay, because he would take a day with Rose Tyler over never having met her at all.


End file.
